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Does the Love Walk make me a doormat?
 Today’s
Question: My family has several members who have disrespected and hurt
the other family members over many years. This disrespectful behavior has nearly
killed the rest of us. My parents have a motto: "You must fight evil with love".
They let these family members continually treat them (and us) like dirt, and refuse to do
anything but throw kisses back. They feel their love alone will
eventually make these people come around and love them back. So
far, it has not happened, in fact it gets continually worse. I
know Jesus wants us to have a spirit of love and not hate. I do
not hate. But these family members never get told the truth from
anyone. I feel abused. I hate seeing my parents reduced to
cracker crumbs and nothing ever said or done. What exactly should
I be doing as a Christian and follower of Christ who wants to do
the right thing, and wants to have a right spirit, and yet does
not want to be a doormat? I am hurting, yet I don't want to do
something just because I'm angry. Can you enlighten me as to what
I should do?
Name withheld
Bible Answer: The motto your parents
have is taken from the Word of God. "Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good" (Rom 12:21). Right now I
can sense that you are being overcome by evil. This happens when
you allow what others are doing to get on the inside of you to
torment you.
I don’t think your parents feel like doormats. You are
the one who feels like it.
Please understand that what your parents are
doing—walking in love—keeps people from dominating
them. It protects their hearts from anger.
You see, people can do things to you but if it doesn't get on
the inside of you, they can never rule. Your parents need to be
commended for their love walk, not called "crackers
crumbs." They’re in charge, not the other family
members. They’re not doormats, you are! You have allowed
them to make you a doormat, your parents haven’t.
The other question is, will these unruly family members
change? Maybe they will. There is no guarantee, though. Romans
12:17-18 says,
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do
what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is
possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with
everyone.
The Bible says: "If it is possible, as far as it
depends on you, live at peace with everyone." This
Scripture implies that it is not always possible to live at peace
with others, so sometimes you just need to keep your distance
from them. At the same time, this scripture says as far as it
depends on you. It doesn’t depend on others, but on you
personally. It seems to me that your parents have lived at peace
with these disrespectful family members. Their greatest motive
appears to be winning them to the Lord. Don’t let them get
the best of you. Choose to walk in love. Their eternal soul is
more important than your feelings.
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