Self Control: The real solution to addiction
by Tom Brown
We live in a society that seems whipped. Everyone appears to be addicted to something. Many professionals have jumped on the bandwagon and promise solutions to every human condition--from overeating, to alcohol abuse, to the tobacco habit, to gambling, to drug addiction, to pornography, and to a host of many other life-controlling problems. And still, despite all the offered solutions, countless people are not getting better.
Why aren't many people improving? I believe the answer is because many of the promised remedies ignore, or at least do not focus enough on the real solution: THE ADDICTED PERSON. Yes, the solution to your compulsive behavior is YOU!
What controls you? You can crush those insurmountable habits that seem to have you in their clutches! How? Through self-control!
Almost everyone agrees that we need to have self-control, but few understand how to get it; or they think that it is not for them.
"I just wasn't born to have self-control," they often say to themselves. But self-control is not as difficult to attain than it first appears.
KNOWLEDGE PRODUCES SELF-CONTROL
The Bible has a lot to say about self-control. One of the main passages that deals with this matter is in Peter's second epistle. We find these divinely inspired words: "God's divine power has given us everything [not just some things, but everything] we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires" (II Peter 1:3,4).
Isn't that what you desire: to escape the corruption (alcohol abuse, gambling, drug addiction, gluttony, etc.) in the world caused by evil desires? Sure you do. But how do you escape these things? The next sentence tells us: "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control..." (v. 5).
The first thing you must do to have self-control is accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. This makes you a partaker of God's divine nature. Self-control is God's attribute. He will give it to those who are born again.
But self-control is not given at conversion--only faith is. After you are born again, you must add to your new faith all the virtues of God's divine nature: goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love.
Please notice that the Apostle Peter does not give us a haphazard list of virtues we should possess; instead, he gives us a progressive list of Christian qualities that produce continuous growth.
Look carefully at the list and notice how each virtue gives birth to another--each in its respective order.
The first fruit we have as Christians is faith. Without it you can't be saved. Yet, you can be saved without the other fruits. So the first virtue we receive is faith. The list begins with faith and ends with the highest virtue of all--love!
In the midst of this list Peter says, "...and to knowledge, [add] self-control..." Knowledge creates self-control. So how do you get self-control? You get it through knowledge.
KNOWING THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE
Knowledge is a prerequisite for self-control. If knowledge is essential in order to have self-control, then the opposite of knowledge--lack of it--destroys self-control. Lack of knowledge is simply believing in false information.
Jesus says, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32). What sets you free? Knowing the truth does. Not simply the truth, but knowing the truth liberates you.
The opposite is also true: Lies keep you bound. Jesus calls Satan the "father of lies." Satan will lie to us so that we stay bound in sin and hurtful habits.
James says that if we speak lies to ourselves, our bodies become uncontrollable. "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check" (James 3:2). Wouldn't you like to keep your body under control? James tells us that the man who always speaks the truth is always in control of himself--in other words, he is self-controlled.
When we speak lies to ourselves, we lose control over our lives. Many people are lying to themselves; this results in losing self-control.
These lies come in the form of wrong beliefs. Wrong beliefs are lies we injure ourselves with. These lies must be replaced with the truth.
LIES WE BELIEVE
Here is what I mean:
One of the main lies we tell ourselves in order to avoid exercising self-control is this: Since I've failed before, I'll always fail.
Yet experience tells us that most people who have overcome a hurtful habit tried many times to break the habit, and failed many times. Most ex-cigarette smokers prove this is true. Most have tried many times to give up cigarettes...yet to no avail. Finally they gave it up, permanently. But failing in the past does not mean you will fail in the future!
Another common lie we believe which halts self-controls is this: I'm only hurting myself.
Those who believe this lie have never been counselors. I have counseled dozens of wives who were heart-torn over their wrecked marriages, their lives in shambles because their intoxicated husbands wouldn't stop the booze. Their flood of tears testify to the fact that sin hurts not just the offenders, but everyone around them.
People believe this lie to avoid feeling guilt about their actions. But the truth is, the damage that sin produces is not restricted to the sinner alone. Others get hurt in the process.
Here is the ultimate lie we swallow that stops us from practicing self-control: I can't deny myself.
Jesus says, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Matthew 16:24).
Jesus believes that you can deny yourself. If He didn't, He would be unfair in demanding self-denial.
"But you don't understand my situation. My temptation is more than I can handle! I can't handle the pressure!"
Yet God says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear" (1 Corinthians 10:13). God never lets you be tempted beyond what you can handle.
The truth is, some people don't want to endure the temptation, but they can if they choose to. You can say "no" to yourself. It is not the end of all things if you have to suffer the pain of self-denial. You can stand it. You really can!
Do you like ice cream? Good, I got your attention!
"Yes," you may say, "I love ice cream. That's my weakness. I can not say "no" to ice cream."
"Yes you can!"
"Oh, no I can't. I love it too much."
I'm going to prove that you can say "no" to ice cream.
Imagine yourself inside the largest ice cream parlor in the world. They have every conceivable flavor available--more than your highest fantasy. The clerk behind the counter asks you, "What would you like? Name it and I'll make it for you." You tell him and he makes the largest, creamiest ice cream delight that you have ever seen. He hands it to you along with a large spoon.
Now, here's my question: Can you put down that ice cream?
"Oh, no! I can't!"
Okay. Let's add something else to the story. As you are about to heap a spoonful into your mouth, you hear a click. You feel a cold, metal object touch your head. Out of the corner of your left eye, you catch a glimpse of a large, hairy hand holding a gun to your temple. A deep voice swears, "If you eat that ice cream, I'll blow your head off!"
Now, let me ask that question again: Can you put down that ice cream? I think you see the point. You can say "no" if you know the consequences.
The consequence of sin is death. Sin destroys your life.
It is not easy to deny yourself, but for the sake of having a higher, more noble life, it is necessary. Most of the time, you will find that gaining something valuable in your life will depend on being willing to tolerate distress, discomfort, and discontent. This is what Paul means when he says, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3).
Resisting temptation is worth it!
THE STAGE IS SET
The truth is, self-control is a choice. You choose what your life is going to be.
"You're wrong," you may argue. "I didn't choose to be an alcoholic. It's not my fault that I grew up with alcoholic parents. If I hadn't had them as parents, I wouldn't be an alcoholic today."
Please, don't confuse what they did with what you are doing. They are responsible for their lives, but you are responsible for yours.
Life is like a stage play. You come on the scene with the stage already set. You did not choose the setting. You did not choose the abusive parents you have. You did not select the teachers at school who ridiculed you. You did not appoint the peers that teased you. Nor did you desire a spouse to cheat on you. No! You did not pick the stage props. They were here when you came; or, they were changed without your consent.
But, friend, God comes to you with a blank piece of paper in His hands. He hands it to you along with a pen. Then He says to you, "The stage is already set...but you write the script. You choose what your character will do in this real-life play. You decide how your character will react to the alcoholic parents you have."
In your life's drama, you determine how you will respond to the ridiculing teachers and the teasing peers. You determine what you are going to do after your spouse left you for another person. Are you going to wallow in self-pity and drown your sorrows in the bottle or gorge yourself with food? Or will you forgive and make your life better? The choice is yours. You—and YOU ALONE—can write the script!"
Friend, the script is in your hands. You're the author. What will you write?
TOM'S ITINERARY
2019
February 21 - 23
Gwang Ju City, S Korea
Bonrang Church
February 24 - 27
Incheon City, S Korea
Podowon Church
March 14 - 17
Haz-Zebbug, Malta
River of Life Christian Fellowship
Articles by Category
Apologetics
Bible Studies
Charismatic Interests
Christian Living
Anger: Master it before it Masters You
Brain Washed
Chart Your Course by the Words of Your Mouth
Control: Don't Let Others Control You
Crucified Life Leads to a Resurrected Life
Dreams: God's Neglected Means of Communication
Falling Forward (What to do when you have failed)
Favor: The Path to Prosperity
Fasting
Fear in the Last Days (special message on the World Trade Center catastrophe)
God Answers Prayer from Fruitful Believers
Homosexuality: Its Cause and Cure
Jezebel, Quit Tolerating the Jezebel Spirit
Meditate for Success
Mountain Moving Faith
Plans that Succeed (How to reach your goals)
Power of Partnership
Power of Speaking Blessings Over Others
Positive Confession of God's Word
Prayer: How to Get Your Prayers Answered
Praying to the Father in Jesus Name
Preaching Determines the Level of Faith
Prosperity Gospel, the: A Defense of the Message
Protection Under God's Authority
Self Control: The Solution for Addictions
Seven Mountains of Cultural Change
Talents: How to make the most of your life
What you See is not What you Get
Who do you think you are?
Contemporary Issues
Cults
Ministry
Alan Chamber Goes Back to Egypt
Grace, Radical— and the Missing Sacraments
Separation of Church and State
Seven Mountains of Cultural Change, Part 2 Protecting the Family, Part 3 Reclaiming Government, Part 4 Media Bias
Preaching Determines the Level of Faith
The Church Growth Conference Jesus Taught
The Church Growth Conference Jesus Taught, Pt 2: Be Shrewd
The Church Growth Conference Jesus Taught, Pt 3 Be Prepared for Resistance
Tom Brown Ministries, Not a Hate Group
Your Church Should Define Marriage
Why I got Ordained as a Bishop
Why Should Ministers Wear Clerical Clothes? (Guest Article by Steven Evans)
Prophecy
Relationships
Religion
Church: Go to Church for the Truth
Grace, Radical— and the Missing Sacraments
Homosexuality: Was Jesus really silent on homosexuality?
Positive Confession of God's Word
Prosperity Gospel, the: A Defense of the Message
Seven Mountains of Cultural Change
Separation of Church and State
Spiritual Warfare
In Alphabetical Order
Alan Chamber Goes Back to Egypt (Guest Article by Scott Lively)
Anger: Master it before it Masters You
Can Christians Lose their Salvation?
Chart Your Course by the Words of Your Mouth
Church: Go to Church for the Truth
Church Growth Conference Jesus Taught, Part 2 Be Shrewd, Part 3
Clerical Clothes, Why Should Ministers Wear Clerical Clothes? (Guest Article by Steven Evans)
Control: Don't Let Others Control You
Crucified Life Leads to a Resurrected Life
Demons: Their Role in Sickness and Disease
Dreams: God's Neglected Means of Communication
Falling Forward (What to do when you have failed)
Family, Modern: how to make a blended family work
Favor: The Path to Prosperity
Fear in the Last Days (special message on the World Trade Center catastrophe)
Former Mayor takes money from widows and orphans
God Answers Prayer from Fruitful Believers
Good Friday, did Jesus die on it?
Government, reclaiming it
Hate Group, Tom Brown Ministries is not
Healing in the Atonement Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Homosexuality: Its Cause and Cure
Homosexuality: Was Jesus really silent on homosexuality?
How to be led by the Spirit Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5
Jezebel, Quit Tolerating the Jezebel Spirit
Job and Suffering
Media Bias
Meditate for Success
Miracles
Mountain Moving Faith
Nike Man: You Can Overcome (A message on the anointing)
Obstacles: Get Rid of Your Obstacles
Ordination: Why I got Ordained as a Bishop
Plans that Succeed (How to reach your goals)
Power of Partnership
Power of Speaking Blessings Over Others
Pope Francis is wrong on the Death Penalty
Positive Confession of God's Word
Praise, There's power in it
Prayer: How to Get Your Prayers Answered
Praying to the Father in Jesus Name
Preaching Determines the Level of Faith
Prosperity Gospel, the: A Defense of the Message
Protection
Protection Under God's Authority
Self Control: The Solution for Addictions
Self Esteem: Who do you think you are?
Separation of Church and State
Seven Mountains of Cultural Change, Part 2 Protecting the Family
Spiritual Gifts for Spiritual Warfare
Spiritual Warfare: Left-Handed Warriors
Talents: How to make the most of your life
Transgender: God's Cure for the Transgender
Voting: How Should Christians Vote?
What you See is not What you Get
Who do you think you are?